


Confessions

by stardustandangels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergence, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, a very drunk Dean, and a very emotionally confused Castiel, hunter!dean, teeth rotting fluff, this has cliché written all over it, witch!castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6609748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandangels/pseuds/stardustandangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a witch who occasionally prepares spells and hexes for the Winchesters. There's only one problem: he has a very pathetic crush on Dean, who seems to be nothing more than an asshole most of the time.<br/>When Dean comes knocking at Castiel's door one night everything changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the SPN writing challenge March 2016 "tropes" for the prompt "drunken confessions".  
> I hope you enjoy reading it! <3

When Castiel checked his phone right after he woke up, he was not at all that surprised when he found a text from one Dean Winchester. 

 

`Heya Cas, Sam and I could need some new protection hexes for our next hunt. We’ll be passing through your town tomorrow.`

 

No _please_ , no _would you_ , no _thank you_. Dean could be a real dick sometimes. And really specific in his orders. Castiel had no idea what they would need protection from, so he decided to cover all their bases and went to assemble the ingredients for some basic charms and hexes Dean had asked – ordered – him to make for him and Sam. 

Being hunters of all things supernatural Sam and Dean Winchester meant never good news for someone like Castiel. Over all the years that they had known each other they'd developed a kind of mutually beneficial relationship, some would even call it a "friendship".  
   
Mostly Castiel was just fed up with Dean’s demanding antics, because things like this happened all the damn time. But somehow he still cared for Dean and found himself complying to his requests every time. Keeping Dean safe was one of Castiel’s top priorities. Taking his phone, the one he only kept so Sam and Dean could contact him, he replied quickly:

 

`I’ll have them ready by then.`

 

Castiel didn’t even try to make the effort and ask how Dean was doing. He wouldn’t get an answer anyway. Just the generic _I’m fine_.  
There wasn’t a reply back from Dean. Castiel should really stop hoping for the two of them to form a stronger friendship. _Maybe even more._ His brain supplied unhelpfully. He should just let go of his crush on Dean.

Deep down Castiel knew that his infatuation was not even borderline healthy. He should really listen to Gabriel with him pining over the hunter didn’t do him any good.  
Digging out a small coin and placing it in the leather bag to complete the hex, Castiel’s mind was racing. What trouble had they gotten themselves into now?

 

For almost as long as they knew each other made it incredibly difficult for Castiel to think clearly when Dean was involved. He just couldn’t get a good read on the hunter.  
Normally Castiel knew about other people’s intentions within a few minutes of meeting them, but Dean was a different case. He was constantly sending out mixed signals and Castiel couldn’t place whether Dean liked him, or resented him for being a witch, whether he was his friend or not. 

 

A knock on Castiel’s door ripped him from his thoughts. When he opened the door reluctantly he found Dean standing there, blood-shot eyes and alcohol heavy on his breath. Wasn’t he supposed to pick up the charms tomorrow at the earliest? Castiel tilted his head in confusion.  
“Hey Cas. How are you doing?” Dean greeted Castiel with a radiant smile on his face. Castiel was taken aback by his cheerfulness. 

“Dean. You can’t show up here in the middle of the night, dead-drunk.” Anger bubbled up in Castiel and he barely resisted hurling something at Dean’s head. Or smashing in his stupid ridiculously handsome face.   

“Don’t be mad, Cas.” Dean stumbled forward a few steps into Castiel’s lab. His hand grabbed for something to hold onto and when he clumsily found the counter top of Castiel’s workbench and leaned heavily against it.  
“Be careful, Dean.” Castiel warned him when he came dangerously to a vile with a clear liquid in it.  

“Oh, sorry Cas.” Dean turned around uncoordinated and swept the vile to the floor. “Dean, no.” The words came out without a sound, barely more than a whisper. Breathlessly Castiel watched it fall in slow motion before it hit the floor. The sound of breaking glass hit Castiel and he realized that what just happened. Dean had not only destroyed a magical potion Castiel had spent the longest time preparing, but also set free a chain reaction of the most potent magic. 

“Why are you here, Dean?” Castiel grinded his teeth together. The faster this situation was over, the better.  
“You know, you’re terribly cute when you’re angry.” Dean asked like he just had made a very important observation. Castiel just rolled his eyes and pretended he overheard Dean’s comment. 

“You’ll have to get out of here before you break anything else.” With that Castiel ushered Dean away from his work bench and into his living room, pushing him down on the couch. “I’m so sorry, Cas.”  
“It’s okay.” Castiel said sharply. “Just don’t move now.” The _so you don’t make it worse than it already is_ was left hanging in the air, and by the way Dean winced, it was obvious he had picked up on it. 

“Your eyes are so blue, it’s the bluest blue I’ve ever seen. Did you know blue is my favourite colour?”

“That’s nice, Dean.” Castiel walked into his kitchen fetching Dean a glass of water. “You’re going to drink this or not?” He asked Dean when he just stared at the glass in Castiel’s hand, making no move to take it from him. 

“You’re going to have the worst hangover tomorrow. So I would strongly advise you to drink the water.”  
When Castiel moved to mop up the mess Dean made in his laboratory Dean grabbed his arm before he could step away from the couch.

“Stay with me, Cas?”  
Castiel sighed and reluctantly complied, knowing that he still had work to do. But drunk Dean was also a kind of clingy Dean, as he was still holding on to Castiel’s forearm and made no moves to let Castiel go any time soon. 

This whole thing remained mysterious. How did this happen, Dean sitting drunk on his couch, holding on to Castiel like his life depended on it?  
“What do you want, Dean?” 

“You.”

“What?!” Castiel turned to Dean abruptly and found the latter staring at him with the best puppy dog eyes. 

“Is that so hard to believe? I mean, I’ve been flirting with you about half the time we’ve known each other. And just look at you, you’re kind and you always find a way to help me, you are intelligent, gorgeous…” The rest of Dean’s sentence dissolved into an un-understandable babbling. Dean’s hand slid down Castiel’s forearm until it reached Castiel’s arm and Dean weaved his fingers through Castiel’s own. 

Taken aback by Dean’s boldness, Castiel didn’t pull away.  
  
Castiel’s mind was a rollercoaster. His thoughts were racing, taking endless loops around the topic he didn’t dare to touch just yet. Could it really be that Dean reciprocated his feelings?  
  


“You should sleep, Dean.” It almost hurt Castiel physically to give up the close contact to Dean. But what should he do? He couldn’t let Dean stomp all over his heart. He wasn’t going to sacrifice the little dignity he had still left. 

Dean nuzzled into the crook of Castiel’s neck when Castiel tried to untangle himself from octopus-Dean. “You don’t mean that Dean. You don’t mean anything. You never do. Just --” His heart beating hard in his chest, Castiel shoved Dean away from him. 

“You are drunk, you need to sleep.”

“Cas – I don’t – stay with me?” Dean pleaded, but Castiel’s self-preservation had kicked in not long ago. 

“No, Dean.” He said with his voice trembling. Castiel stood up from the couch. He went to his kitchen to get Dean another glass of water and some Advil to lessen the hangover headache he’ll surely be sporting in the morning.  
“Drink this.” Castiel ordered sternly. He went to his bedroom and produced a blanket and a pillow for Dean. When he entered the living room Dean sat upright and looking at Castiel with big green eyes, tracking his every movement as Castiel tried to avoid Dean’s gaze. 

“Don’t you get it, Cas? I’m in love with you.”

  
Castiel’s head shot up and he finally made eye contact with Dean.

“No, Dean. You can’t be in love with me. You are not. Just go to sleep.”

Emotionally drained Castiel made his way to his own bed. He just couldn’t fall asleep, he tossed and turned. 

 

The next morning Castiel woke up to an unusual smell tickling his nose. The sneeze had him almost fully awake, now the only thing that could make his day a little more enjoyable. He was still exhausted from yesterday, emotional baggage hanging over him like a dark cloud.  
Padding from his room Castiel to the kitchen only noticed that Dean wasn’t on the couch where he had left him to sleep that night. 

So Dean had already left. Castiel shouldn’t be so surprised. Had he really expected a different outcome to last night’s events?

 

The smell that woke Castiel up became more intense the further he made his way into the kitchen.  
To his surprise he found Dean standing at the stove making pancakes. Castiel stopped dead in his tracks and leaned heavily on the frame of the kitchen door.  
“What are you doing here, Dean?” Castiel asked with a deep gravelly voice. 

“I – uhm – making pancakes. Isn’t that obvious?”

“I didn’t meant to ask what you are doing right now, I meant what are you doing here, in my home, Dean?”

“You were so kind to let me use your couch, so the least I can do is making you a decent breakfast.”

Dean looked so earnest and open that Castiel concluded Dean must have no idea what a great impact yesterday’s drunken ramblings had on Castiel.

As the realization hit, Castiel’s hurt turned into anger. “You don’t get it. We –” he gestured to Dean, “are business partners, nothing more. You don’t get to show up at my doorstep whenever you want. That’s not how this works.”

Looking positively dejected Dean took the pan from the stove. “And here I thought we were friends.”

“This – we are not friends, Dean. You show up when you need something, that’s it. That doesn’t make us friends.”

“But –”

“No, buts, Dean. You never give anything back. I can’t have you playing with my feelings on top of that. I can’t do this anymore.”

“I’m not –”

“Why else would you tell me that you are in love with me but to mock me? You don’t understand. You just don’t understand how it is to fall in love and have the person you’re in love with trample all over your feelings.” Castiel spat at Dean.  
“I didn’t mean –”  
“You never mean anything. You don’t think what your behaviour does to others. You don’t get to tell me that you love me. As if you’d ever return my love. You just don’t get it, Dean.” Castiel turned his back to Dean and stormed out of the front door. 

“Hey Cas, wait.” Dean wrapped his hand around Castiel’s bicep and held him back. “Cas, listen to me please.” Again with the puppy dog eyes. How could Castiel ever say no to that?”

“I’m sorry for all the times I’ve done wrong by you. And I can’t justify my behaviour. I’ve been a real dick to you and I’m sorry. And I meant everything I said yesterday night. I’m not sorry for that. I’m sorry that I was drunk while telling you that I love you, but I’m not sorry for telling you.”  
“You – what?” Castiel inflated visibly and all his anger was gone instantly. 

“I’m sorry, but I love you. I’m in love with you, Cas.”

“Dean –”

“I know that you are not exactly enthusiastic at the thought, but that’s how it is, you can’t tell me that my feelings for you are invalid. It’s true and there’s nothing you can change about it. Like it or not.”

“You are in love with me?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t see that coming.”

“Well, me neither.” Dean said with a wink. “But it doesn’t make it less real, just because it’s kind of unexpected.”

 

“You sure?” Dean nodded vigorously. 

“Well then I should tell you that I have had the most pathetic crush on you for ages. I just couldn’t tell if you meant your flirtations or not. So I suppose I’m in love with you, too. I love you, Dean.” Castiel grinned happily as he saw the look of utter devotion and love in Dean’s eyes. “But you got to make it up to me that you’ve been a dick to me?”

 

Dean’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Will you accept a kiss as my first payment to clear my debt?”

“I will gladly do so.” Before Castiel had even finished the sentence, Dean had him in his arms and dipped him back as he pressed a gentle kiss to Castiel’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me kudos and a comment!  
> You can also visit me on tumblr at [ stardustandangels](http://stardustandangels.tumblr.com)! Here's [the reblog-able post on tumblr.](http://stardustandangels.tumblr.com/post/143128685993/confessions) Talk to me about these two idjits (I'm having a lot of feelings about them lately), tell me about your day or whatever you want. :)


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